You’ve Reached The Criminal Inside of Me, Please Hold.
Alright, I got my Newports in a front pocket, new kicks on my feet, and I’m getting ready to board the plane for Seattle. I’ll be gone for a couple weeks. I’m gonna be three sheets to the wind, be all pressed up, my Stacy’s will be sopping wet. I’m just headed down to the corner to get a pack of cigarettes, I’ll be back. I gotta make like a hockey player and get the puck outta here.
Welcome to Arizona…
Thought I might share these facts and pictures from Arizona that I received in an email. This shit is ridiculous.
Arizona
We, in Arizona , know you’re boycotting us — but you really should come out here and see our Beautiful Sonoran Desert . It’s just gorgeous right now! We know you’d love it and maybe you can share what you saw with the rest of the country so they can love it too!
This is on an ‘illegal super – highway’ from Mexico to the USA ( Tucson ) used by human smugglers. This area is located in a wash, approximately 1.5 miles long, just south of Tucson , Arizona . If a flood came, all this would be washed to the river and then onto the sea!
It is estimated over 5,000 discarded backpacks are in this wash. Countless water containers, food wrappers, clothing, feces, including thousands of soiled baby diapers. And as you can see in this picture, fresh footprints leading right into it.
As we kept walking down the wash, we thought for sure it was going to end, but around every corner was more and more trash!
And of course the trail leading out of the wash in our city, heads directly NORTH to Tucson , then leads to your town tomorrow.
They’ve already come through here. Isn’t Arizona just beautiful, America ? Why would you boycott us? Our desert has basically been turned into a landfill.
The trash left behind by people illegally crossing our border is another Environmental Disaster to hit the USA . How many drugs did these people smuggle in with them? If these actions had been done in one of our Northwest Forests or Seashore National Parks areas, there would be an uprising of the American people…..but this is the Arizona-Mexican border.
You won’t see these pictures on CNN, ABC, NBC or the Arizona Republic Repugnant newspaper.
Nor will they mention the disease that comes from the uncovered human waste left in our desert.
However, with respect to CNN, ABC & NBC, they do offer us “Special Reports” on cheating celebrity spouses….
This information needs to be seen by the rest of the country and we need your SUPPORT…
-IF YOU CROSS THE MEXICAN BORDER YOU PAY A FINE AND ARE DEPORTED, THE SECOND TIME YOU ARE JAILED FOR UP TO 10 YEARS.
-IF YOU CROSS THE FRENCH BORDER YOU ARE FINED,JAILED AND THEN DEPORTED.
-IF YOU ENTER ENGLAND ILLEGALLY YOU ARE FINED 10,000 EURO AND DEPORTED
IF YOU ENTER ITALY ILLEGALLY YOU ARE FINED 13000 EURO AND DEPORTED
- IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
- IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
- IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT
Intermission II
Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh… everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
(Working on the blog right now, be back in a few)
Affirmations of World’s End
Power exists in harmonious justice with rocket fuel
Creating a vortex so tight I’m transfixed
By visions of the patron saint of hopeless causes
A boneless skinless cat
Stepping on toes
Milking our iguana like it was yesterday’s only friend
Juvenile hall is full of catfish.
-Lures and Snares; Michael D. Williams; Cancer as a Social Activity: Affirmations of World’s End.
The Modern Dharma Bums
The musical “group” One Eye Mind is a solo project of my friend and teacher Mr. Paul Human. I’ve had the privilege of corresponding and sharing a friendship with Paul for the last several years. He’s offered me much guidance and I’ve shared with him a lot of music, often surprised at the sheer volume of underground music that he’s acutely aware of.
Anyway. I went into One Eye Mind not really thinking, so it wasn’t too hard to impress me. But after a few listens I became aware of the fact that the music is very singular. An often strange and comfortable mixture of Tibetan chants, African tribal music, samplings, occasional synth, and wind instruments seem to make up the core of One Eye Mind’s music. Particularly alluring to me is the song Back to Earth which beneath layers of synth, a vocal loop, and what sounds like a didgeridoo bears a certain droning quality.
The sheer resonance and surprising quality of these home recordings were what struck me first, second of all what struck me was the sheer Boris-like vitality found in several of the songs. Which is a definite pro, a con however is that it seems to be too jumpy, going from Boris-esque drone in Soul Strong Stay Home* into some crazy-ass over-worked vocals that I can’t understand, and honestly don’t really want to unless I was on a peyote trip. While the core of the songs seem to be exceedingly well thought out, I’d only wish that Paul would have more credence in the power of his voice, which is exceedingly good, and not have to rely on the over-use of effects.
Over at Reverb Nation I was subjected to different tracks, however. I was pleased to see that the short snippets of songs offered are radically different. The song Hammer and Nail easily taking the cake.
Ranging from blasting drone-ish-tribal-world shit to slightly more mainstream-familiar ground, this shit is weird. But not totally out of the ball park weird. This is pleasantly weird, like you don’t hear every day weird. This is a project that I can definitely say is a worthwhile listen. My only request would be more drone. Damn, this is far too up beat for me. It reminds me of Om, and on a lesser note their predecessor Sleep, in a couple different ways. It’s very singular music and I’m very happy to be sharing it with you.
The only thing that truly pisses me off is that all the songs are cut off at like 23 seconds on the Reverb Nation page. Were I to rate it I’d go for a 4/5 stars. In its range and yet singular vision it is like Boris or The Flower Travellin Band, yet still retaining a very world-music feel. But seriously, take some time to listen, and Paul, when you read this: your voice is a lot better than those vocal synths and I’d love to hear more of it.
I’m a Shitty Artist, Kind of a Big Deal.
The recently made requested picture for a friend of mine. The only requirement was that it said “Diesel Dave”. Of course, I went out and made this shit heap. Enjoy.
New Contributor and Shit
The Criminal Inside of Me has a new contributor. Zero is what he calls himself, so expect a few guest posts every now and then.
Hawaii Fred and the Furlough Friday
Yes, I should title children’s books for a living.
I’m here to talk about an article I read the other day in The Economist. No, I don’t like The Economist, no I don’t subscribe to it, and no, I do not particularly enjoy mediocre reporting mixed with bias. I was on a job, went in to use the bathroom and that was what they had there to read.
Anyway. I read an article that had a big effect on me. Namely because it’s something that is true, something in America that needs changed, and because particularly in Hawaii I’ve seen the worst side of American education… I just gave it away, didn’t I?
The article in question was about the American school day. The hours in which kids work. What struck me about the article was that it began talking about the American work ethic. It is a fact that Americans are hard workers, we go head first into stories about our work, and we look down on countries like France because of their extremely short work week and extremely long vacation times. The article appealed to my pride, then it appealed to my hate, then it appealed finally and most effectively to my want for a better country. As it pointed out: America has the shortest school days in the world, with 7 hours in school and then a mere 1 hour of homework. Followed up by a 180 day vacation.
The summer vacation, first of all, is an obsolete thing. We are no longer a country of farmers who need their children to come home to work. And simply this long vacation, appealed to children of this generation, is simply breeding more and more lazy ass kids. I see them everywhere. Half the kids I meet now would rather laze in front of a TV than go exploring as I once did with my sister and friends. And the fact is that retention, especially in poor families and minority children is extremely low. They show clearly that the 180-day year followed by the big summer actually causes a good majority of kids to lose the information.
For a country of such hard workers, we’re really allowing our kids to slack off. And ultimately, this is hurting our economy more than President Obama spending a trillion dollars on 2 basketball courts and the golden throne he sits on. Hawaii is a prime example. Having implemented the eponymous Furlough Friday. The furlough Friday was
The general look of classrooms in Hawaii on Friday.
implemented in Hawaii schools because of 2 reasons: the first being that the state of Hawaii is poor because our representatives spend our money about as poorly as Nancy Pelosi in a face life store. The second reason is that the teachers union didn’t want to cut jobs (NOTE: our teachers are pretty much useless and over-staffed anyway). So they instead decided to save money by giving kids and teachers Fridays off. God, I love my state.
Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this? I agree with what President Obama had to say when he first got into office (yes, I very occasionally think he’s got a brain between those big ears of his). What the anointed one had to say was exactly what I said above: we aren’t a country of poor farmers anymore, we are falling behind the rest of the world in education. This comparatively miniscule amount of academics mixed with the phenomena known as Summer Learning Loss is tragic.
I personally believe that we need to begin cracking down. Guys, we’re falling behind Canada. We’re falling behind Sweden. We’re falling behind France for Christ sake. France, people!
Ultimately the Asian countries spend less on education, but spend more time working their children. There is no accounting mistake, there is not some glitch in the Matrix. It’s pure and simple fact that we as Americans have a duty to our children, as Obama pointed out, as the Bush’s pointed out, as this article has pointed out. Our education system needs to be reformed just so that Americans can once again be the great and proud people we are, so that we can compete with a world that is steadily leaving us in the educational dust.
Mac: The Bruised Part of the Apple
Apple says I shouldn’t smoke
Or my warranty they will revoke,
But what they don’t know
Is that my Mac will throw
It away for a pack of Camels.
Yeah, yeah. Old news is old. Apple voiding warranties because cigarette smoke is a “bio hazard”. I felt like writing limericks. So I thought I might bring up how Apple is just taking advantage of people, finally showing it’s ugly profiteer’s face to all the blinded liberals that think they’re better because they use a Mac. No my giant-faceless computer corporation is better.
Agonistes
zeroofhate
