Survival of an Art Major

Hey, how have you been, it’s been a while.

I’ve started school coming on 8 weeks ago and I realized that my 2 readers or so might miss me. Maybe. So here it is: a step by step analysis of the survival of an art student.

Step 1: The sleep schedule of an art major

Wake up at 6:00… 6:30… 7:45… 11:00. Yeah. Eleven o’clock works pretty well. Class is rad and shit. Because you’re an art major and you like to fuck shit up. It’s true, ask anybody. Sure, it may seem regrettable to some that I “waste” the day, but we art majors are actually night people, and by that I mean procrastinators and we don’t do our work until 1:30 in the morning. Also we stay up to ridiculous hours smoking hookah, hanging out, walking around in 30 degree weather, and having heated discussions on what time we’re waking up for breakfast. (Please note: we never actually eat breakfast; however we do get shitty Starbucks coffee simply because it’s the only coffee joint you can exchange meal plans for coffee + pastry; the lemon loaf is fucking delicious.)

Step 2: FOOD!

You might think I’m crazy when I say this but for the last 8 weeks or so I’ve been living on of the Orange Chicken + Rice combo from a place called Mein Bowl. It might sound kinda crazy, but that shit keeps me alive. That and copious amounts of good ol’ Mountain Dew.

Also, Denny’s at 2 in the morning keeps me going.

To survive as an art student one must remember these things:

Some days eat a lot because you have a lot of extra meals. Some days don’t even eat nothing. Some days wake up at around 10:30 and be jonesing for a cup of joe. That’s basically your diet.

Also on the days you dont eat nothing, add in the tobacco of your choice. Cigarettes are a no-go for me, so hookah is my main stay.

Step 3: The Sketchbook

Every art student has to have one of these. The sketchbook. Where you keep all your devious plots and doodles of you as a cowboy.

The sketchbook is your nexus. Where all your thoughts, doings, and whatnot goes. Mine is filled with sketches, poetry, notes, and a jumble of other inconsequential shit.

Step 4: Hookah

The single most common form of social bonding around campus. Smoking out of a hookah is a great way to meet new people, hang out with friends, calm your nerves and otherwise spend your free time. Find a good spot on a bench, or out in the grass, grab your favorite flavor of shisha and light up some coals.

Step 5: Homework.

Homework, homework, homework. The bread and butter of the art major. Little or a lot: the trick is to fuck off until you absolutely have to do it. There’s a lot out there for the art major. But do it well. You will be sorry if you do anything half-ass.

And it isn’t all bad, some of the homework is really quite enjoyable. Especially the homework for your elective classes (that is if you enjoy them).

Other times it can be absolutely painful. For example, group papers, I myself ended up doing almost all the work for one such paper, because one girl decided she didnt want to put her portion of the essay online until 1 in the morning. So I had to hand type out what she wrote from her hard-copy essay she handed me. Shit sucked.

But I digress. Homework can be tough, it can be easy. But it is always a pain in the ass.

Step 6: Friends

Inarguably the most important part of surviving as an art student. No we are not lonely hipster types, we do not sit around all day

quietly doodling in our sketchbooks (we just do that for most of the day, you insensitive prick). We thrive on company. And no, we don’t necessarily thrive on the company of other lonely hipster types art majors. Get a group of friends, go out to dinner, walk around, joke, smoke, toke (if you’re into that shit), and most importantly: high five and shit.

Good friends will keep you up. Keep away from the bad ones. Friends are the ones that will help you through the hard times, and keep you going when you want to stop. And as an Art Major you will inevitably hit an emotional col-de-sac and just need to quit for a while. A good friend will kick you in the ribs and make sure you get the fuck back up and walking.

They will make sure you dont fuck around too much and do your homework, and make sure you’re eating regularly. Which is something you will need desperately every now and then after not eating for a couple days.

Step 7: The Cup of Mud

Coffee: the elixir of life.  The ever-present drink in the hand of every student of Art (in fact in every student of everything, but I once again digress). You must sup from the cup that will keep you up, if you can tolerate the reference to the Three Peckered Billy Goat brew from Raven’s Brew.

Sadly the only coffee shop that is open regularly is the always disgusting Starbucks. But otherwise we have several options in the downtown metropolitan region, and Einstein’s Bagels on campus. Whether it is Starbucks or not: sometimes you just need a cup of mud.

Well that’s just about it. I hope you all found this very enlightening, this look into the life of an Art Major.